June 13, 2001
I believe that the life-giving force in and around me, which is full of
peace, joy, compassion, understanding and acceptance, is LOVE. I never knew
it before, but it is now constantly with me. It is showing me where changes
are necessary, and it is pointing out my strengths.
This unconditional LOVE is filling my total being and soul, and I am meeting
it in all my beautiful, new friends. There is an awakening of a healing
wisdom within me and I believe that I may continue to grow by breaking down
my walls, by being completely honest, by sharing who I am and what I have,
and by learning to love everyone in this wonderful world I am allowed to
live in.
I have been made aware that in order to love others, I will first and
foremost have to love and accept myself. I may also take the power given to
me to affirm myself. I may use this power to take charge of my life and I may
know that I can stop being dependent on others for love, respect, security
and self-worth, because I have been given all these attributes within myself.
I am making a conscious decision to find my authentic self and I will trust
in the healing power of complete truth. I am learning to risk and trust again
by being open to others in a way I could never have imagined was possible.
I now examine my beliefs, my addictions, my fears,my loneliness and my
dependent behaviors, in the context of having been brought up in a
capitalistic, hierarchal and patriarchal culture, and not as just coming from
my family background. Because of this examination I may now have a deep
awareness that my parents passed on to me what they had learned and
experienced themselves, and that they loved me as much as they were capable
of. I may understand their limits, fears and pain, and though I hold them, as
well as all other people by whom I have been hurt, accountable for their
actions and words, I may learn to let go and to forgive.
I am sharing with others, whom I am starting to trust, all the things inside
of me for which I feel shame and guilt. I am also sharing my emotions, my
defeats and victories, because they are all part of the wonderful, unique,
new person I may be and may become.
I am willing to let go of pain, fear, shame, guilt, control and any other
behavior that keeps me from loving myself and others,and I may affirm and
enjoy my courage, my strengths, my talents, my creativity and my body. I have
made the decision not to hide any of my unique qualities anymore in order to
protect some else's ego, because I am now learning to express my wants and
needs, as well as my love and gratitude. I am also able to express my
increasing appreciation at the wonder of life and all the blessings I have.
I will continue to trust my own reality, and I will daily affirm that my
opinions and values are the truth for me. I may believe that I have rights
and that I deserve to be listened to. I will become more and more aware that
others have the same rights I have, and I will allow them to voice and live
by, their opinions and values.
I am being made aware that I need to acknowledge my mistakes and that I need
to make amends when I have hurt someone, but I will no longer have to say
that I am sorry for things I have not done, and I will no longer cover up,
analyze, or take responsibility for the shortcomings and mistakes of others.
I will seek opportunities and situations that will affirm my perceptions,
qualities, intelligence and self worth, and I will look for people who accept,
validate, understand and love me just as I am. I will avoid anything that is
hurtful, and anyone who is showing an intent to use, abuse or demean me.
I am taking steps to heal my physical body, my mind, my emotions and my
heart, and I am starting to organize my life, searching for a balance, which
will allow me to reduce stress, enjoy life, and have fun.
I will continue to trust my intuition, by being silent, and by connecting
with the beauty in nature. I am developing the will and the wisdom to follow
LOVE's guidelines for me, and I believe that I am exactly where I need to be.
I trust in my spirit, and in the importance of dreams as tools for messages
and lessons.
I accept the ups and downs of life as natural events that can be used as
lessons for my continued growth. I now can accept the break-down of my
marriage and the loss of the only friends I had, as a turning-point in my
life, because it not only has allowed me to find LOVE and myself, it also has
forced me to deal with my childhood losses.
The process of grieving these losses and coming to terms with them, has
started a deep healing-process which has allowed me to find a new beginning,
new friends, new experiences, and a new way of loving myself and others.
I am understanding that I am interrelated with, and connected to, all living creatures.
I may know that I am a child of LIGHT, and I am in awe at the beautiful world
I am allowed to live in. I want to contribute to this world by bringing LOVE,
LIGHT, peace, trust and support to others by sharing my journey, which I know
will continue to be filled with lessons necessary for my growth, but also
filled with happiness, belonging, respect, trust, peace, health, power,
gratitude, faith and hope.
Elisabeth Leonore
Copyrighted 2001
